Sunday, May 1, 2016

Game of Thrones Power Rankings (S6, E1)

Season 6, Episode 1: "The Red Woman"

Last week's rankings: Season 5 Recap

In the Game of Thrones, you win or you die. In that spirit, here’s your weekly look at who’s winning and who’s (slowly, painfully) dying.


1. Sansa Stark, Wardeness of the North

Finally, a little over 50 hours into the Game of Thrones saga, we saw Sansa make a good decision that was truly in her best interests. Now, she has three sworn protectors and is headed to Castle Black, where... Oh, yeah, no one there that's alive cares about her. 

Bold prediction: Sansa will be the key to bringing Jon back to life.  Melisandre (allegedly) needs king's blood to work her best magics, and Sansa's brother, Robb, was the King in the North. Whether or not Sansa has to die for this is still TBD. 

2. Brienne of Tarth

The Lady Brienne is officially a knight! Now we can look forward to seeing how she gets along with Melisandre, who birthed the smoke demon that killed King Renly, and who may be especially interested in Sansa's blood in the very near future. 

3. Podrick

He really acquitted himself pretty well there, didn't he? Maybe soon he'll be a legend for using real swords instead of just anatomical ones. 

4. Arya Stark

I mean, she's about to become Daredevil, right? Seriously, this is literally the origin of Daredevil--blind kid gets trained to fight by older, wiser blind person who wields a stick. Maybe soon, she and Jaqen H'ghar will be hopping around the Braavosi rooftops like this:

5. Ellaria Sand

She and the Sand Snakes have taken charge of Dorne, but she's starting to feel a bit like the Cersei of the south--a spiteful woman who spends waaaaaay more time thinking about revenge than she does about consequences. 

Honorable Mention: Melisandre

Not looking too bad for her age, huh? 


1. House Martell, (Former) Rulers of Dorne

And we thought things went bad for the Starks! Well, at least there's one less noble house of Westeros to keep track of now. 

But is it just me, or did the murders of Prince Doran and his son, Prince Trystane, feel a little like "Fuck it, we don't know what to do with these guys" on behalf of the show runners? Keep in mind, this is the first season of the show where there's no text from George R. R. Martin to provide a blue print. And yes, the show runners received his basic road map for where things were headed, but no one really knows how detailed that was, or how much they're sticking to it. But here's what I'm going on--at the end of last season, Prince Doran arranged for Trystane to travel to King's Landing and serve on the Small Council. Now, just one episode later, he's dead, and it's a death that certainly didn't require any traveling to happen. The Sand Snakes could have easily just killed him in Dorne. This has always been a show where no plot point or character movement has ever been unnecessary, but now it seems that Trystane going to King's Landing is just that. All shows use season breaks to course correct in small ways, but the death of Trystane feels like a giant "We changed our minds" red flag. We'll see if there will be others. 

2. The Targaryen Invasion of Westeros

Hey, remember when we all thought this would happen in our lifetimes? After spending two season in Meereen, we thought the arrival of Tyrion might finally portend real development and movement of this seeming eventuality. But then Khaleesi was whisked away on a dragon, kidnapped by a Dothraki horde, and now all of her ships have gone up in literal flames. I'm starting to wonder if the entire Daenerys pollen has been a red herring since day one and she's actually never leaving Essos. 

3. Daenerys Targaryen, Widow of the Great Khal Drogo

Speaking of the Breaker of Chains, not a great turn of events for her this week. After finding out the fate of a widowed khaleesi, a small part of her had to be thinking, "Damn, I should have just kept my mouth shut and let them all have sex with me." It is known. 

4. Jon Snow, the 998th Lord Commander of the Night's Watch

Still dead. Is Vegas taking bets on how many episodes Kit Harrington will just be playing a dead body? 

But the good news is, at least Castle Black has been left in good hands!

5. Walda Frey 

Doesn't it feel like every time Roose Bolton mentions her pregnancy, she moves further up Ramsay's list of potential new torture buddies? And since all of his old torture buddies seem to have fled the premises...

Honorable Mention: Davos Seaworth

His immediate future looks dark and full of terrors. 

Confirmed Kills: 10

6 of Ramsay's bannermen (3 killed by Brienne, 2 killed by Podrick, and 1 killed by Theon), Areo Hotah (stabbed in the back by Tyene Sand), Prince Doran Martell (stabbed in the chest by Ellaria Sand), a Dornish messenger (knife thrown in his back by Tyene Sand), and Prince Trystane Martell (speared through the head by Obara Sand, because she's a greedy bitch)  

Season Death Tally: 10


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