Way back in late 2001, during my Sophomore year of college, I read a piece on ESPN called "A Few Good Hoopsters," where a new columnist named Bill Simmons used 50 quotes from A Few Good Men as awards for the NBA season. It not only introduced me to Simmons' work, but also to the great possibilities of creative nonfiction writing, which I took up not long after. Ever since then, I've wanted to try my hand at that gimmick, using movie quotes as awards for something.
And now, here we are. It's time for 50 quotes from the most quotable movie of the last decade, Inglourious Basterds, handed out as awards for Game of Thrones: Season 4, in preparation for the Season 5 debut in a few days.
Winter is coming!!
To Arya Stark, who is quickly becoming an adult and a remorseless killer, and seems destined to get her bloody revenge. Stick 'em with the pointy end, girl.
Also to Sansa, who finally seems to be keeping her wits and learning how to play the Game of Thrones, lying to save Littlefinger only because she knows it's in her best interests.
To all of the plot lines involving Bran Stark, the white walkers, and whatever supernatural shit is happening north of the wall. I just don't care. The characters aren't compelling, none of it makes sense, and it gets too far away from the conceit of the show: games, thrones, and games of thrones.
-Well, I speak the most Italian, so I’ll be your escort. Donowtiz speaks second most, so he’ll be your Italian cameraman. Omar third most, so he’ll be Donny’s assistant.
-I’m French. We respect directors in our country.
-There’s a special rung in hell reserved for people who waste good scotch. Seeing as I may be rapping on the door momentarily… I must say, damn good stuff sir.
-Why do you have your Walther pointed at my testicles?